We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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