Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
