Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize