dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
