she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
