Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
