I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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