Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize