you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
