Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
