you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
