PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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