so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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