I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
