Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize