i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
