so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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