We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize