You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
