My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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