drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
