So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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