I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
