I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
