too bad you live with your parents still
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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