Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
