It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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