How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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