her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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