I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
