I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
