Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
