i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
