is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
