That's intense
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize