dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
