the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Boobs are out for the taking
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
