I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize