Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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