Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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