Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
