I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize