So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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