I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
