VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
