YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
