Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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