around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
