clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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