New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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