were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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