i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
