I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
