do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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