My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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