and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
