I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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