it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
