I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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