he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
