dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
