So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
