hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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