I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
