How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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