This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
