How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
