A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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