sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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